Gay Is Better (?)

Here is my RANT today RANTers!

I thought I won’t be able to RANT about anything on RANTday but F-O-R-T-U-N-A-T-E-L-Y I was able to (How about that?).

Okay, I know that I posted on my Twitter account that nothing inspires me to do a RANT today but then I just remembered a video I watched just a few days ago.

But (The “B” word.) before I go on RANTing about things, I just want to say to you guys that this blog post will be a little bit just like my “SEX” post so I want everyone to throw their CONSERVATISM aside again and open your hearts and minds (And again, not your THIGHS or MOUTHS.).

Ready?

Okay.

As I was saying, just a few days ago I watched a video on YouTube that is entitled “10 REASONS GAY SEX IS BETTER” and I was flabbergasted by some of the “reasons”.

Video courtesy of YouTube.

Reason Number One.

You can’t get pregnant and die.

~While this is true because males don’t have OVARIES thus aren’t able to produce EGG CELLS, are they pointing out that every time a female conceives they die?

Yes, pregnancy can have COMPLICATIONS and such but it doesn’t mean that these complications cannot be managed. The management of these complications would be a collaboration of different health professionals and the patient herself.

Reason Number Two.

Guys know what other guys like and girls don’t.

~Well, yes. This is partially true. I mean, the male population knows what they want to do and be done to them when they’re in bed (Or at the sofa, or on the stairs, or at the kitchen, or wherever. You know the drill.) BUT (The “B” word again.) does the male population know what the female population want to do or be done with them when they’re in bed (Again, you know the drill.)?

And that doesn’t only apply to GAY SEX only.

Reason Number Three.

Gay sex can work both ways.

~ONE HUNDRED PERCENT T-R-U-E!!!

I mean, females CANNOT PHYSICALLY PENETRATE a male using their inverted triangles. But females can do so if they’re using other stuffs such as dildos, finger, knife, ice pick, chainsaw, axe, (Okay, I am so getting M-O-R-B-I-D here. Enough of that.).

In gay sex, the one who usually penetrates is called the TOP and the one who is usually being penetrated is called the BOTTOM (Gay kamasutra, anyone?).

What about the one who “work both ways”? They’re called VERSATILE.

How do you know one from the other (Other than asking them directly, that is.)? Read this.

Reason Number Four.

Vaginas are great mysteries of life.

“It doesn’t matter whether you’re gay or straight, I don’t think anyone understands a vagina.”

-Davey Wavey

~Okay. That’s a statement gone wrong. It feels like Davey is pointing out that OB-Gynes and other health professionals still find the VAGINA, a part of the FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM, a great M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y.

Oh, come on! HONESTLY?!

Reason Number Five.

Gay guys get anal all the time.

~O-B-V-I-O-U-S-L-Y. I mean, other than the mouth (Close yours, RANTer.), where else do they get PLEASURABLE PENTRATION (I guess that would the right term for it. Or “PENISTRATED”?)? The stomach (Swallowing?)?

Reason Number Six.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money and take me out on a date. You don’t take me out to dinner if you wanna have sex with me.

“That’s not a gay thing. You’re just a slut.”

-Jamie

~Enough said. Ahahahahaha!

Reason Number Seven.

When you hook up with a girl, you wouldn’t actually leave the next day but when you hook up with a guy you know he’d be gone in the morning.

~Okay, it feels like Jamie only said that because he just wants Davey and him to be lovey-dovey (Which is kind of cute, actually.).

Reason Number Eight.

HERPES

“If a guy is having a herpes outbreak, you will see it on his penis. If a girl is having a herpes outbreak, you wouldn’t even know until you know.”

-Davey Wavey

~This is the one that has me FLABBERGASTED. I mean, seriously?! This guy needs MORE EDUCATION with regards to STDs and GENDER SENSITIVITY.

Just to let everyone know, genital herpes is OFTEN ASYMPTOMATIC which means you won’t know you have one until you’re tested (And you might want to have and HIV Test together with that just in case.).

Reason Number Nine.

The more dicks, the better.

~Again, enough said. *wink!*

Reason Number Ten.

Nothing turns me on more than telling me I’m going to burn in hell.

~I think this statement of his is more on pissing off the HOMOPHOBES. And I think it did actually work.